A Great Weekend

This past weekend was a busy, but wonderful one. We started with Steves hockey game, went onto an engagement party, late night Pete and Eldas and to end it was the Belmar Seafood Festival.

Steve started playing hockey again, on a team with my brothers and their friends. Now I must first mention that when they tried this organized league thing a few years ago, they lost every single game they played, being mercied for a majority of them. Lets just say it was terrible to watch! So far this time around, a whole different story! They have actually won their first two games! Must say Jack loves to watch lives sports! Being that I was the only spectator this Friday, Jack actually sat in his stroller and watched the entire game... amazing what is possible when he isn't all distracted. You should hear how he screams while the game is going on and how cute it is that is constantly waving to all the players... he is Mitsubarus biggest fan! Then after the game when all the guys come out and plop their bags and sticks down... Jack helps himself to the sticks and walks around swinging... the next pro for sure! We are very excited that a good number of the games are at 7pm so Jack can watch his daddy play!

Saturday was the big celebration... Dom (my brother) and Jens Engagement Party!!! For anyone that has had to plan a big important event, you know that almost never does it go off without at least one little mishap... this one was that Jen showed up a bit late because of a hair appointment... happens to the best of us and it always ends up being a fun story later on. Besides that the day was perfect... they both looked wonderful and their friends and family were there to celebrate their love with them! We are so excited for them.... Jack had fun too! Of course he is only one so he spent probably a quarter of the time walking around outside. He is so cute though... will eat just about anything you give to him... before the meal he snacked on grano padano, bread and fried zucchini.((On a side note... Jack eats just about anything at this point, even organic skinless hot dogs, except for fish, honey and nuts... he is a great eater and his favorite food groups are definitely carbs and fruit! He loves strawberries, melon, nectarines, cherries...)) Of course by time dinner same, it was 3 which meant Jack was keeping to schedule and showed no interest in eating but went down for a nap in no time. I must say... Jack was looking wonderful at this party... wearing a four piece Nautica outfit... dress pants, button down shirt, vest and tie... by the way we got a coordinating outfit for Steve... SO CUTE! It was a great party.. they did a wonderful job planning!

Saturday after the party we headed home to give Jack dinner and then called Steves mom to come babysit the munchkin... we headed to the beach where some of the guys were surfing... and as usual by time we get there, they are packing up to leave... instead of ending the night there... we went to Pete and Eldas, which I haven't been to since I was pregnant... it was delish but starting to question whether my stomach can handle late night grease the way it used to be... We had some good laughs!!

Sunday we took Jack to the seafood festival... no worries we fed him before hand figuring it wouldn't be easy to find him something to eat there... It was so hot out but jack was a trooper! He took a nice long walk on the boardwalk with Nana and Papa while we ate our lunch. Then to cool down some Jack had a little sampling of a strawberry banana smoothie and orange cream smoothie... go figure that he liked it... shouldn't be surprised really....

It was a good weekend! Of course Monday creeps up way too quickly and its back to the daily routine things. I am so glad though, that Jack while he probably doesn't quite understand whats going on, he is experiencing lots of different things! He is great in all situations and it makes it that much easier to go out anywhere.

So a little update on Jack... he turned 13 months on Saturday! He is not only walking now but is getting faster and faster. He cracks us up as well as himself! He loves to play and laugh... He is understanding more and more everyday... while he still ignores when we say NO he does respond when we ask him to get a specific item. He knows when I am making him lunch and ask if he wants t sit in his chair he walks over to his high chair... So cute, he now says BOO back to us when playing peek a boo, which happens to be a favorite game of his. He plays with his hands or a book and he finds it hysterical! He is eating and sleeping great. His sleeping schedule has been working out great... 9am and 3pm are nap time and 730/8pm is bedtime... he is so much happier during the day and waking up in a great mood... we should all try to get some extra sleep! Jack is a doll... Steve and I are enjoying this playful stage!

Oh Canada!

Canada here we come.... Jack and I will be traveling sooner then expected. My Canadian cousin is getting married next month and Jack and I are attending. Very bummed because Steve can't come with us, not enough vacation time with the cruise in October, so its just the two of us.

So while there is going to be a ton of family attending, its just going to be me, Jack and my mom flying out to Toronto. I must admit I am a bit nervous and uncertain... I debated whether I should even go since Steve couldn't come but we rarely get to see this side of the family, its been way too long and no one has met Jack yet and I have not met Nolan (my cousins son) yet. Steve said he was fine with us going so I decided to make the trek! I considered for a brief moment driving up, but 9 hours in the car with just me and my mom driving and the Jack... I think it would be way too crazy so we opted to fly... I got our tickets yesterday!

The nerves come in here... first time away from home with Jack (not counting a night over at Steve's dads or a day at my grandparents), we're going from Thursday to Monday so yea a decent trip! So back to nerves... first time away so I have to certainly make a packing list for Jacks stuff, then there is the whole flying thing... it will be his first time on a plane and my first time flying without Steve (btw my mom is the worst to fly with... she is not a fan). If anyone has tips on comforting a baby on a plane, please send them my way!! I'm all worried about the pressure and the pain he will feel then the fact that if he is unhappy and crying everyone on the plane will be hating me. Yea its only a 2 hour flight but I feel like it could feel like 6 hours if Jack doesn't sleep some.

It will also be interesting how I manage to keep Jack on somewhat of a schedule so he gets enough rest to not be cranky. How is he going to sleep since its not going to be his room and his crib... I am hoping that someone there has an extra car seat and pack and play so I don't have to fly with all that stuff.

Besides all the nervousness about the unknown of traveling with Jack, I am super thrilled I decided to go! I cannot wait to see all the family and for all the family to meet Jack! We missed the last Canadian wedding because we were on our honeymoon and then a reunion because we were in Italy again. Sigh... I love traveling! Should be a blast with my little munchkin as my wedding date! Details of course will follow...

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Damn you NJ

I know there are plenty of you that love living in NJ, especially this time of year with all the beach activity... me on the other hand couldn't care less... I am not a beach person what so ever so the big draw that people have to NJ is so not my thing...

I so badly wish we were elsewhere, for so many reasons. We've been talking again lately about the whole idea of moving. We both agree that at this point neither of us would have any problem moving just over the border to PA. Close enough that visiting family is easy enough but out of this money sucking ugly state ((sorry to those o you that see beauty here, I just don't see it)). For several nights last week I played around on the realtor.com app in search of homes... got to say it is so frustrating to see what you can get for your money just an hour away. Heres the problem though, we bought our townhouse right before the market went to to shit, so here we are stuck at the moment. Our house is no longer worth nearly what we paid for it which in turn means if we were to sell now we wouldn't have enough for a down payment on a new home, even if it is cheaper.

So unfortunately right now we will be staying put until the house value returns to at least what we paid. The tough part is that until then we will continue to struggle. Its certainly not easy with just one salary coming in, though neither of us would change the fact that I am home raising Jack. Every month is the same thing... where are we pulling money from to get by.... no matter what, we can't seem to keep the credit card clear (and might I mention that the majority of that is only groceries and gas). I am constantly in disbelief over the amount of money we have to pay this ridiculous town for taxes... we have a townhouse with no land besides our driveway and the tiny plot that the house sits on! It is absurd! Don't get me wrong I do love our house but I am starting to really get the picture that if we had just looked a little further from the family we would have been saving a lot more money!

Lesson learned... we need to start doing what is best for us and not what is just going to please everyone else. Its funny because if you aren't in the same situation its so easy to just say that we can't move because all our family is here... why is it okay that every month we struggle to simply live... and no I'm not denying that our major vice is going out to dinner but honestly going out to dinner a hand full of times is not whats breaking the bank here... we are getting to the point where something has got to give! Hopefully soon the value of the house goes up and we can make a small move for now to test the waters... who knows what will happen at this point... for now we are stuck where we are...

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Now I Understand

Its funny how when we are growing up we don't believe anything anyone tells us and how we question peoples decisions without actually having any experience with what we are judging.... can't say I still don't catch myself judging but maybe I've learned a few things along the way that have made me a bit wiser...

Its easy to judge how someone else deals with parenthood before you have walked in their shoes and now I understand a little better why people may do some of the things they do. I recall having a conversation with a friend about the strict schedule a women had for her child and how it seemed ridiculous to plan everything around a nap time or bedtime. Now I get it, while it may not be the most convenient thing, getting Jack to bed earlier had improved our daily lives and sleep tremendously. So we can't hang out late or go to dinner late... so what... We have am happier, well rested baby which equals a happier and well rested mommy and daddy. Other people looking in may see this as overly rigid but I see it as consistency that leads to a lot less stress!

Another example... We are planning our first family vacation, a 10 day NorthEast cruise. I admit that I am seriously considering getting one of those harness things for Jack. Yup, one of those things that makes your child look like they are on a dog lease. Again, now I get it... for example... on the boat Jack is going to want to walk around, so isn't it safer if I can stop him immediately if need be and when in an area with a lot of people while being within a couple feet of him he is free to walk but I don't have to worry about some crazy grabbing him since he can't run off. My opinion of these things was always, oh how ridiculous is that, the kid looks like a dog... well now that I have Jack it totally makes sense to me.

I understand how it can be so easy to lose your cool when your child is screaming in a restaurant. How you forget that you are surrounded by people and you go ahead and bite off your spouses head not because they did anything wrong but instead because you are in a stressful situation that sometimes gets the best of you for a brief moment.

Now I understand that constant worry about the health, safety and happiness of a child, something I really don't think you can truly appreciate until you are a parent, no matter how many times you are told by your own parents. There is that feeling that you need to be able to provide everything for your child no matter what.

The immediate understanding once your baby is born that that little life is your priority and clothes shopping, nail appointments and 2 week vacations to Europe are no longer the important things in life.

While I can go on and on I guess the point is that we live and learn. There is no way at the age of 12, 15, 17 can you possibly understand where your parents are coming from when they are trying to steer you in the right direction. We all do stupid things and I'm sure we would love to take back now that we know better but its all part of the process... growing up, taking responsibility for our own lives and becoming wiser so that we can one day sound just like our parents did to us...

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Day Tripping

We had a great busy weekend. Saturday night we went out for sushi with my brother, his fiance and two of their friends. Jack is a huge fan of edamme, I couldn't peel them fast enough for him. Afterwards we hit up Hoffmans for some delish ice cream, Jacks also a big fan, just like mommy! Yesterday was the Memorial Day BBQ at Steves uncles house. The day great, Jack had his first dip in a real pool and loved it. We got him one of those floats with the canopy, his is a frog... so cute! He loved playing with everyone in the water, splashing and laughing... it was adorable! Family, good food and fun in the sun... a good day! Today Steve and I took Jack to the reservoir for a bike ride, it was hot and painful at times but it really does feel great at the end (going to try to make it a more frequent thing) and Jack fell asleep while in tow. Felt so bad having to wake him up, looking so cute in his piggie helmet! Afterwards we picked up some lunch to bring with us to Monmouth Park for Jacks first outing to the horse races. We lost, of course, but it was a fun day out. So this is what got me thinking.... we need to make it a priority to plan these day trips for the three of us to spend good ole fashined family time together....

So here are a few things on my list of things to check out...

*Please Touch Museum in Philadelphia (thank you Nikki)
*Allaire state park for a picnic and train ride
*Maybe do a ferry ride into the city and do something, not sure what yet
*Cape May for the zoo and walking around town for the afternoon
*Maybe Storybook Land (not sure if hes too young and it may be best to wait for next year)

Ok so thats all I have for the moment... I'll gladly take some suggestions if you have any. Its funny and sad how fast the weeks go by and sometimes we are so wrapped up in everything work, or house maintenance that we forget to take the time to go out and do fun things just the three of us... to forget about the laundry piling up and everything else that will still be there the next day to be done... I want to make sure that Jack experiences all sorts of things and though he may not remember it I do think that he can learn and just plain old has fun while its happening... these are the important moments... and hey we'll have plenty of pictures to show him so he knows of all the fun things we did together as a family.

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Here are a couple books about Day Trips in NJ and surrounding areas...

One Proud Mama

I must say, I truly am one proud mama! I am proud of Steve and I for sticking to a routine and program to get Jack into healthier sleep habits and I am crazy proud of Jack for doing so well with this big step!

So you all know of the terribly hard time we have been having with Jacks super inconsistent sleeping. We have tried a few different things and nothing seemed to be helping. We were getting more and more frustrated, especially me, spending hours everyday just trying to get him to nap or go to sleep at night. It was exhausting and starting to drive me slightly nutty. It was so hard to just take a deep breath when at night we'd stick with the routine of bottle, rocking in the chair until he fell asleep and then we'd lay him down in his crib. That did actually work for a long time, but not so much in the past couple months. He would sleep in our arms then jump up screaming as soon as we laid him down. It sometimes felt like it took forever to finally get him so asleep that he didn't care that he was put into his crib. Then after all that he was getting up once, twice and sometimes three times a night. It felt like we were going backwards instead of forward! Many nights just so that all three of us could get a good nights rest, we would just bring Jack into our bed if he woke up during the night.

So while we really didn't mind having him in bed with us, we also knew that it really wasn't good to do every night. We knew something had to give but we really felt pretty clueless at that point. Steve had talked with a woman from work for several days about the problems we were having. She too has a young child and had recommended a book to us. "Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Child" by Marc Weissbluth MD. This past Friday, she let us borrow it to see if we liked it enough to buy. So Friday night came and I put Jack to sleep just as we had been doing. Once asleep I plopped down on the couch and turned straight to the section on Jacks age group.

There it was right in front of me, our story was in that book. Within the authors writing were stories of real parents who also had sleep troubles.... the child that fell asleep standing up on more then one occasion, trying all these different methods, and so on.... I couldn't help but smile knowing that we were not the only ones...

I read on and here are the main points.... There was a huge emphasis on the importance of a routine, naps and consistency. He stated that most of the time when children have trouble at night it is because the parents don't allow the child to learn the important skill of self soothing and how to put themselves to sleep. We knew Jack was not getting a goof nights sleep because he wasn't waking up happy. Everything he wrote made complete sense, we would let him cry but would always run to the rescue hence defeating the whole point. They somehow know that if they continue to cry that you will come rushing in, if you don't then they learn that that is what happens when it is time to sleep and that they must go to sleep themselves. We figured we'd give it a try. We realized that we were not making the situation any better when we went in so maybe this time it would work.

Early into the night Jack woke up crying, we left him and he cried for an hour before falling asleep. Te next day for nap time I went in laid him down and left, 50 minutes later he fell asleep (he recommends not letting them cry for more then an hour at nap time but no time limit at night). Every time, nap and night after that went even better. Tonight I kissed him goodnight, told him I love him, laid him down and closed the door. He cried for less then two minutes!! He is now waking up happy, napping better, can very quickly put himself back to sleep if he wakes during the night and has had fewer cranky moments during the day. We also moved his bed time earlier, also recommended in the book...It is helping!

I am so glad we gave it another try, the right way this time and that we are making real progress! Now the next huge thing will be the day I lay him down and he just rolls over and goes to sleep. I certainly recommend checking out the book, it completely made sense and I think in a way gave us the boost and confidence that it could be done, that even though its hard at first, a well rested happy baby in the en is the most important thing! A plus too was that through numerous of his studies, it appears that a well rested child has fewer nightmares and night terrors and that these healthy sleep habits developed at an early age continue on into adulthood.

Losing My Mind

Yea, its yet another entry about my sleeping habit battle with Jack. I am a complete loss. He is amazing during the day, eats well, plays... he is super easy going... until sleepy time comes around. Lately it's not even just at night anymore. It seems that as soon as we seem to be making progress we are just as quickly thrown backwards. It is incredibly frustrating to not know how to fix it.

So we tried the whole letting him cry it out thing and it seemed to be working but never did hit that sleep through the night marker and then again we seemed to have gone backwards again. It used to be a five minute effort to get him to nap. He was napping on a great schedule and for a decent amount of time each one. Now it is a 45 minute process. He has no problem falling asleep on me but when it comes time to lay him down all hell breaks lose. There is the screaming, crying and clinging. We are at a loss! So now napping is barely on a schedule and they last long enough for me to maybe eat breakfast and get dressed.

Completely clueless as to what happened. Our night time routine is the same. At this point the only successful part of the past month is that he doesn't need a bottle in the middle of the night anymore. I guess I should be glad about that, right, it is something. This week he actually hasn't even wanted to take a bottle to fall asleep at night. That part has been going generally smoothly, taking maybe 15 minutes for the initial lay down... the problem comes in when he wakes up in the middle of the night. Nothing we do seems to help and we get so frustrated that we end up just bringing him into our bed. Yup, he manages to sleep amazingly perfect in our bed, waking up at 7:30.

Its kind of like, okay we are creating a bad habit of sleeping in our bed BUT he is sleeping well and isn't that kind of more important? He wakes up happy. It drives me nuts to hear how people were able to let their kid cry for three nights and then from that point on they have slept through... we have been battling for weeks and we still can't figure it out! I never ever had even expected that most difficult part of having a baby would be getting him to sleep well.

I am open to suggestions... any tips, good books, anythiiinnngggg!!!!

On a better note.... Jacks first birthday party.... it went great! Funny the night before the party he slept great and took two good naps the day of... he had a ball... he loves being around people! The weather was perfect and we were so glad to be around people that love Jack! His cake turned out amazing and I hugely recommend Pink Cake Box.... they are fantastic!

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