The Evil Post Baby Body

So its nearly ten months later and I still struggle with this post baby body I have been left with. Keep in mind, I wouldn't trade anything in the world for my little boy. The funny thing it that I loved and embraced my pregnancy. I loved the belly that continued to grow over nine months, I've always had a thing for baby bumps! I was fortunate during the pregnancy, I was told to gain 20 lbs and with no effort I hit that 20 lb mark on the very last doctors appointment, which wound up being 12 hours before my water broke. I felt great and couldn't care less that month by month I gained weight and grew out of clothes quickly.

Now its a bit of a different story. I had Jack and then the evil deep purple redish stretch marks decided to appear on my stomach (thanks to Avons stretch mark cream... you can barely see anything!!! My husband even noticed the difference after only a week of using it!) which was a bit of a bummer especially since I had gone the whole pregnancy without getting any! I breastfed for the first nine months and was actually lucky enough to have dropped the 20 lbs in the first three(ish) months after having Jack. The tough part is even though I have technically lost the weight I gained.... the body just isn't the same. Of course, I realize I haven't been "thin" since sophomore year of college (thank you malfunctioning immune system/thyroid) but the skin of the stomach just isn't the same. I remember for the first month or two it was much worse and with the assistance of a belly band my loose skin stayed in place. Since it has tightened back up considerably. There is still this annoying pouch of flab which I blame for me not being able to find pants to fit me. Then there are the boobs.... well lets just say, they are no longer perky without the assistance of a good ole supportive bra.

I went shopping yesterday.... generally I love shopping but my mood quickly changes after trying on five pairs of pants with zero success.... too tight around the waist... fits around the waist but are baggy everywhere else.... too long.... too "skinny"... ugh how I dread shopping for pants! Then on tv we get to watch how Heidi Klum, Uma Thurman, etc etc... go from baby body to super model body in a matter of two months! Must be nice to have the nanny to watch the kids... the personal chef to cook the healthy meals.... the personal trainer to whip your butt back into shape... and endless supplies of money to buy clothes that fit you oh so perfectly.

I don't know... yea I could join a gym but I know that I will get bored of it. I was always active with sports and dance and thats how I stayed in good shape when I was younger.... running on a treadmill really just doesn't keep my attention. Then there is the diet thing.... my problem is that I really enjoy cooking and eating and honestly things with butter and olive oil just taste better.

The weather is finally turning around and I am very excited about that! I am hoping that the mere idea of a bathing suit is motivation enough for me to get out there... walk, ride my new baby towing bike and eat a bit healthier. I really do want it but its hard, frustrating and plain old upsetting when I try and nothing seems to change..... Maybe this time will be different....