Challenges

When you first discover you are pregnant there are so many emotions that go through your mind... joy, excitement, nervousness, pure love... there is no way of truly knowing what challenges are ahead of you. You can have some sort of idea of what it will be like when you have a screaming baby at 4 in the morning that despite your every effort, just doesn't want to calm down. We have all been there right? But then there are the little bumps along the road of parenthood that I don't think you can foresee.

Mommyhood, and yes daddyhood too, is far from a simple thing. The loving your child/children unconditionally with everything that you are is the simple part. You would do absolutely ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to make them happy, to keep them from feeling pain, to keep them healthy. Ok so thats the very general plan right? Raise them to be strong, independent, smart, successful, kind and loving but how to get there is the challenge.

I always thought having one very active and incredibly smart little boy was a challenge. Things are now just a little harder with 2 little boys. Jack learned to push buttons and with every stage of growth came new challenges. The hard part is that I always had this plan in the back of your head as to how I would deal with each situation, how I would react when they decide to throw a box of rice on the floor, or continually climb way too high, when they take a marker to your newly painted walls. Is it just me or does the great plan not always work out perfectly. I feel like this is such a tough topic because as a mother I feel like I should be prefect and that is so not the case and in a way I feel ashamed of my reactions and frustration some days. I admit that there are times that I raise my voice louder then I should, that I overreact, that I have overly high expectations for a 2 year old.... Everyday I try to be better and some days go so smoothly and then there are days I just want to crawl into bed and cry... is this normal?

Ryan is a little over 3 months old and demands so much time but so does Jack. How do you explain to a 2 year old to be patient while mommy works on getting the baby to fall asleep? How do you relax your mind to the point that you can just hangout and have fun? I feel like I always have a million things going through my head that its so hard for me to just forget about what needs to get done around the house and just PLAY. Between cooking, cleaning up, laundry, Avon, diapers, pumping.... my mind just needs a break and I feel like I am on overload sometimes. I try so hard to make every mishap an opportunity to teach Jack something, but sometimes the aggravation gets in the way and it just makes the situation worse, no lesson learned and then we're both upset. I'll gladly take any coping advice. I sometimes worry that Jack not listening to us is all on me and Steve, that we are screwing up but I don't see where the problem is. I stick to what I say, I don't let him get away with things, I let him know when he has done something that is not ok.... is it just because he is only 2? Don't get me wrong, Jack is such a smart 2 year old, he amazes me everyday!! He is so kind and loving I just want to squeeze him with the hugest hug most of the time. Its just those little things throughout the day that sometimes challenge me. Is it maybe because we tend to have big reactions to everything that he can't tell the difference between us joking and playing with him to when we are serious?

I guess its all a learning process... its always something new and we are always trying to adapt to the kids needs. I understand that each stage of their lives requires an updated parenting approach.... now how to accept that I will never be perfect?? Please feel free to share your thoughts and advice in the comment section!

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